You’re Being Gaslit By Generational Wealth
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In our March video essay, Chelsea investigates two different realities splitting Americans down the middle: growing up with generational wealth, and growing up without it. So much of what we perceive as a "normal" American experience is actually the product of having a financially privileged family, and we need to talk about it.
Thanks so much to our interview guests, Paola and Sarah!
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00:00 Intro
02:46 Ad break
10:52 The privilege of being a kid
18:09 College: affirmative action for rich kids
27:49 The cost of making connections
34:11 How generational wealth ruins the housing market
40:02 When did childcare get so expensive?
48:15 Conclusion
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Gracie Abrams, Miley cyrus, Timothy chalamet, all the Trumps, and half of hollywood and all of politics
Not just them, but also upper middle class to upper class millenials who benefitted immensely from generational wealth and knowledge transfer. These individuals are often able to mask their real class easier than celebrities despite benefitting from the same systems of nepotism.
When I say this, I think of my millennial friends who were able to work for a family business whenever they wanted and, through the business, made locally well-known connections who then offered them a high-paying job after college.
I consider these types of people nepo babies as well even though they don’t occupy the same rung in society as those you listed – like those celebrities, they were able to get through life with minimal scrapping due to family status and connections.
It’s easier to pursue a high paying job that take on mountains of student debt (doctor, lawyer, business, etc) when your parents are well off, know people in those careers or are in those careers, and provide access to better educational institutions and study resources. Celebs are just a public and recognizable manifestation of the leg up parental wealth affords.
It’s like Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. It is easy to focus on self actualization and fulfillment when you know your basic needs will always be provided. Also the freedom to experiment and take risks is there when stability is present.
One of these things is not like the others…and it’s Timothee Chalamet, who grew up in Mitchell Lama (subsidized housing) and went to public school. I really don’t understand why people include him in this conversation. Yes, his parents work in the industry, but they were dancers in NYC, pretty much the brokest entertainers.
It is crazy, because I had no real awareness of ‘generational wealth’ until college. That some people dont take on student loan debt, or can expect their parent to pay for their wedding, to help with a down payment, or even more. I often in my job have had to really work with students with imposter syndrome who did manage, -despite public schools and no college prep or app help- to get into great schools. I feel privileged because I can live with my parents while I pay off student debt and save for a down payment, thats what they can give me. But that cost me risk taking and job opportunities as I didnt move for it. Its all this sliding scale.
Rich people pretending to be poor irk me. I’ve had an ex that claimed to be poor growing up yet lived in a paid off 2500sqft house, had a house boat, and millionaire grandparents who gave them monetary gifts. Meanwhile I grew up homeless, $30k household salary for a family of ten.
yeah….poor is also subjective in the West (though, yes its silly because poverty isn’t an option nor ‘subjective’) However, we’re not entitled to other peoples definitions which often is based on their experiences. I grew up thinking I was poor because technically compared to people I went to school and uni with, I WAS!!! But in the face of the average person…I was ok. Not really that much above average but absolutely not poor either.
@@VBoo459 It is. But what was crazy to me was she didn’t even think she was middle class!
Yeah. I hate this crap. I didn’t even had a car bought for me, must my other “poor friends” had nice cars bought for them in high school, went on international family vacations regularly, and had their college covered for them. POOR!
@ Haha, her mom bought her a BMW. Poor. Yeah.
@@mykhalable9433 a lot of those rich kids logic was that their families resource was not unlimited. I had one friend who cited that his dad only paying for him to compete and train in an international wrestling tournament/camp in Europe, but not also Japan over a summer was proof he was from a poor family.
It’s NOT jealousy- we understand anyone would want to give their children (if they choose to have them) or loved ones a better life, and protect them from financial hardship or struggle. It’s the inability to achieve the same scale of wealth and success independently without the “leg up”.
And, I’m not even talking about the ultra-rich. If you can live at home rent free, or at a rent less than market rates with your parents, you’ve benefitted. If you parents paid for your driving lessons and car, you’ve benefitted.
People can rent, learn to drive, buy cars etc.. without the help but it’s far harder especially with the cost of living rising.
The “bank of mum and dad” is spiralling into a fully fledged inheritocracy, and it’s gruelling.
We can all write off the “nepo-babies” for being exceptions, but the type of benefit a wealthy or middle class family brings are not often spoken about comparatively to their less well off peers.
Could you study as well at University working 2 part time jobs, wondering how you’re going to feed yourself? Could you ever take a chance on a dream such as a career in the arts?
For young people without a safety net of intergenerational wealth or a family base, the only option is bitter resilience. Ensue burn-out and cynicism.
Relate so much to the point on college.
I knew it was like getting stuck in a contract and was only going to the highest bidder.
Scholarships were the main deciding factor of which school to go to.
Thankfully my public school had an amazing college advisor.
I wish more people talked about how confusing it is to get scholarships if you don’t have any guidance. My parents didnt know anything, my guidance counselor just told me to ask google, and I was too busy working after school to have the energy leftover to write essays (not to mention: my writing skills weren’t the best because my teachers weren’t so great either). Life is confusing
@@hechovisto Very true and how the ACT specifically isn’t about skill but understanding the patterns of the questions. Also local scholarships if you’re in a moderate to large city can be easier to access than national ones.
I feel like there’s a lot of people who land in the middle of these experiences and by not acknowledging that leaves us to put people in a “this or that” category which alienates people, leaving them out of the conversation.
I appreciate that you didn’t make Sophia a caricature but instead an example of the subtler realities of generational wealth. Both her and Mel are very grounded, real examples – on different sides of the slopes of a bell curve, but towards the center, not outliers. Love me some nuance
Thank you!! Yes, that is the reality of generational wealth — it doesn’t necessarily mean living it up on a yacht at all times
University of Michigan, like Washington University, is also known to be a pipeline of wealthy kids where they will meet other wealthy kids and look forward to a future venture capital life. It’s a hive of future finance bros with their sorority future wives.
Fascinating!
Great video. A big problem Is Wealthy busy bodies block new housing construction, thus making housing scarce and expensive
I also think that “generational wealth” can be less direct than “your parents are well-off”. For example, my parents weren’t what I would call “comfortably middle class” (i.e. they didn’t worry about bills) until I was in high school, but both of them grew up in stable, middle class(ish) households and knew how to navigate systems to get my brother and I into good schools and have a lot of opportunities. Also, several of my aunts are VERY wealthy, and looking back I know that if my parents ever had issues my family would have never been on the streets and in fact would have had a lot of support. The community safety net is huge, and something I’ve only really appreciated after seeing so many people who don’t have it even if they are in the same socio-economic class and just and skilled and smart as me.
There is a good book about this issue in the UK (‘Inheritocracy’ by Eliza Filby) that talks how the ‘bank of mum and dad’ has become the deciding factor in achieving financial stability for younger generations. She makes a lot of good points about how it does not have to be a direct financial help – it is enough that grandparents have enough resources to retire and provide free childcare or allow you to live rent free in their house and save money for house deposit after graduation.
Thank you! Not only that, but there are things like parents wealthy enough to live somewhere with job opportunities, so living with your parents while working is itself a privilege not everyone gets access to, or having your parents buy braces/invisalign for you as a teenager versus paying for it yourself as an adult (and similar for other medical procedures), and other not so obvious issues. This makes a huge difference to how you can start your adult life.
Abuse is also more common in low income households, so poor kids get to start life deep in a hole where wealthy kids start on a hill or mountain. With rent prices high, wages low, jobs unstable, and healthcare unaffordable, that means adults who grew up poor who suffered abuse get to choose between achieving mental health or paying rent! 🙃 Poor kids are also more likely to have medical issues as adults, from things like poor childhood nutrition, dental neglect, effects of living in high stress for so long, or even something like foot issues from growing up wearing shoes that didn’t fit properly.
And yes, poor kids don’t get to do sports, because our parents can’t afford the equipment and fees. So those “college resumes” are just classism. Same with summer camps… wtf is that? Summer meant sitting at home being bored all day while your parents were at work. Must be nice to get so many nepotism connections at summer camp and band camp and ski clubs.
Being poor is expensive. Growing up poor gives you a lifetime of visible or invisible debt.
THANK YOU for this! I was invited on multiple vacation trips this year by my friends, and I had to decline each time. One friend approached me asking if I was trying to distance myself from her and couldn’t believe she didn’t realize that I simply cannot afford these things! Like, how much are you guys making????
Girl, SAME. I hear you❤
as a low-income kid who went to an elite university on 100% financial aid, I relate so very much to the lack of “impressive” awards, extracurriculars, internships, and so on vs my peers because I was simply ✨working✨ in HS
My parents’ economic situation has been a wild ride for sure. Growing up my dad was director of a firm earning what I later discovered was about 200k euros a year (before bonus) – in the mid 2000s. While I knew we were way better off than average I never had the feeling we were affluent, mostly because I was at a school where most were on our level of wealth or even richer. Post 2008 crisis my dad managed to lose an enormity of money, we moved country and hit the bottom in 2019 (yes it took a while) when he told us all he was 50k in debt.
Ngl, while I would see myself as very left leaning the fact that I was fairly close to generational wealth if my father wasn’t an absolute idiot with money, makes me resentful. Tho mostly because it was my mother who ofc had to bare the stress for both.
Now that they are retired, my father gets a big pension (that somehow still seems to be barely enough for him)
I think there should be a video on the converse of this – people who make terrible financial decisions and just use their background as a scapegoat instead of believing they can better themselves
Even being able to stay at home to save money is a privilege.
It takes skills that most women don’t have..most women are lazy and narcissistic
I don’t understand when they can’t accept the reality and get so offended when you try to inform them of their privilege.
I have a dear old friend from high school who i wish could see this video without me suggesting it to her lol.
We’re about to turn 40 and have very different lives. She had a “gap” year after college to travel Europe, even though she went on multiple study abroad experiences. She never worked during college. After that, her parents let her pick 3 cities to visit and explore to decide which to move to to start her life/career (before she even had a job). She has always traveled consistently and likes to hear about others travels etc. This year she invited me to her big 40th trip. Honestly, even if i could afford it, i wouldn’t go. It’s hard to relate to her anymore (she also has a kid and im child free). I dont resent her for being born into security, but in reality it is a barrier to connection at this point. Maybe thats partly on me bc of jealousy and shame, but i also think its ok to let some relationships have their time end naturally.