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Thank you for speaking on this!
100% I have made friends at my job that I got fresh out of university. They don’t understand how easy you can just suddenly become homeless. My very first boss was whispering to another coworker how she doesn’t know what to do with poor people and something like shouldn’t be expected to deal with me. đ¤ˇââď¸
When your classmates are surprised that you have worked on holidays during university meanwhile they have sky lessons in the Alps.
I live in the alps, I gave ski lessons, but we also could go to italy every summer. middle class in europe is much nicer đ¤ˇđťââď¸
This is really poignant and not discussed nearly enough. I was out of the house and completely self-sufficient at 18, now I have friends in their 30âs and marrried whose parents still pay their cell phone bills and car insurance, send them hundreds of dollars regularly so they can get â a little treatâ, and absolutely made their homeâs down payment. I had summer road trips to visit family, not trips to Aruba. Iâm not mad at them for it, I love my friends and am happy that life has been good to them, but I also see the ways that our mindsets are so very different. They have a very optimistic, but also privileged view of life and what is possible and we definitely make very different choices based on our upbringings and social safety nets.
Self sufficient at 18 huh? That was a little easier to accomplish back in 2004 lol. I like how people always act like timing doesn’t make a difference. You were probably middle class too and your dad helped you buy a car n’ such yet you conveniently left out little details like that and act like you came from nothing which is probably B.S. You probably even rented a room from a friend’s parents apartment complex for a lower rate yet also left that out…
â@mikesteelheart it’s not a competition, chill. There will always be someone doing worse than us, and someone doing better than us.
@@mikesteelheartI didnât say it was easy or glamorous, but it happened and without help. I lived in a tiny, crappy studio apartment working full-time and bought an old used car with money saved from working part time jobs in high school. Meals were home cooked and simple, most of my clothes were from thrift stores. It sounds like your experience might be closer to that of my friends?
This is a great video. If you spent your first couple years out of college getting married and purchasing a home, chances are you benefited from generational wealth.
I did this not because I was wealthy. I just graduated in 2004 and got lucky with a great job, and bought a small fixer townhouse in 2005. It would be almost impossible to do what I did in 2004 today. Those prices and opportunities just donât exist anymore.
I get so annoyed with my sister when she tells people that we grew up middle class. Like, we were wealthy. No, we didnât go to Europe every summer, but the bottom line is we never had to worry about money growing up, and though I do struggle as an adult now, Iâll never know what thatâs like. I think itâs important to be honest with yourself when youâve benefited from inequality, so you can see the world clearer and try to make it a better place.
Great point about the discrepancy between definitions inside of a family dynamic.
Iâm confused. Were you wealthy or just financially stable? Being financially stable doesnât mean you are wealthy. My son doesnât worry about money, outside what he gets to do with his allowance. I am by no means wealthy. I am,however, financially stable, have savings, and donât live paycheck to paycheck. Just not being broke doesnât make you rich.
Yeah Iâm the same way, it took me until college to realize that a lot of the achievements I had growing up were because of my privilege. I was very fortunate that my parents could afford to pay for music lessons, tutors, summer prep programs, etc.
I met a girl who was rich and I got to watch her realize that through our time at college. She was a sweet girl but it was so funny watching her come to all these little realizations and having a somewhat existential crisis when she realized that not everyone can afford a car, and most peopleâs parents are not paying their tuition.
Part of it is also that wealth is on scales and a lot of things are perceived vs actual wealth. From that outside I would have looked like your classmate but the car was leased with the idea that I would pay the payments once I graduated. They also told me they paid my tuition and I found out after I graduated they took out most of the loans in their name and only some in my name (which I did know about). All this to say my parents have a bunch of debt and are not wealthy.
Fwiw I am very grateful they took on the majority of the debt. I was just shocked to learn what I thought was very different from the reality which was propped up heavily by debt. So yes, sometimes it is wealth and other times it is parents who take on debt to keep up with the Jonses which is very much my parents.
The *SIGH OF FINALLY SAYING IT OUT LOUD* this is so accurate.
If you grew up with generational wealth you arenât going to spend your formative years around anyone struggling financially
And the one kid who perhaps was almost certainly went to great lengths to hide it
Even if they went to public school. Grew up middle class but figure that 90% of my classmates had way more money then my family and we werenât poor. School districts these days are fairly segregated financially, especially in the north east
@@zeusmultirotor8479 Factual and actual
Exactly. Things like having a family beach house vs. having to pay for somewhere to stay on vacation, having to have car payments and the interest embedded in those payments, that bit of help with the down payment or little to no student loan debtâŚall of that really adds up
It is hard to quantify middle class. I grew up at what I belive to be middle class. My parents owned their own home. They both had used cars. My mom’s was a pretty nice station wagon from the dealership. My dad’s was a hoopty from the auction. My dad was a teacher who worked a 2nd job as an a para Medic and my mom taught classes at a community College. I was very blessed to take dance class and go to multiple sleep away camps, but we only took maybe 3-4 vacations My whole childhood. My parents definatly stressed about money sometimes and sometimes did without, but they always figured things out. We had less than some friends and more than others. Ultimatly I belive middle class means knowing you can consistantly provide for all of your needs and comfortably provide for some wants but may have to make some value choices. I definatly think what middle class lookes like now was seen as upper middle class to wealthy by 1980-1990 standards.
When I was in my 30s, I went to a coworkerâs house one morning with another friend for a casual brunch hang, bagels, nbd. Except this coworker lived in a house in the Midwest that was $750,000+ in a VERY fancy neighborhood. That was the day it really sunk in how much help some other people have in their daily lives from family, because we worked at the same company at roughly the same seniority, and nobody else I knew couldâve afforded it. She even had one of those fridges that looks like normal cabinets and not like a fridge at all. đ I donât begrudge her having the help, but I felt stupid for assuming that people who seemed to be in similar circumstances were actually in similar circumstances. People with family money donât talk about it. Never compare yourself to someone else financially because you have no idea whatâs going on behind the scenes.
Yes, this was my experience in the corporate world.
I would have been extremely happy if my parents would have helped me with babysitting my children. I would have had a career and now a house. Sadly, I couldn’t bring myself to have them take care of them, because of how they took care of me and other children she babysat. College , they didn’t approve or allowed me to go. They were very upset with me when one of my children left to college.
âOn some levelâ – I left the country of my birth because I was tired of hearing that my not being able to attain the quality of life of people around me was a âme problemâ. All the people whose parents had given them money for a house insisted that their choices were just âdifferentâ to mine.
where did you go?
It is like wanting the financial part especially of your amygdala to calm the eff down and leave fight or flight for one second since literally day one.
My husband and I had opposite experiences. He is carefree and the family sleep well and have never had to worry about paying bills. I am from a family who stuck together and worked to make ends meet and none of us sleep well because we are always trying to survive. It is a very different world.
The “my parents are.. cOmFoRtAbLe” is so accurate đ
Also not living the stereotypical wealthy lifestyle doesn’t mean you’re automatically middle class (and the other way around – someone might live lavishly and still be poor, due to credit card debt). And as you pointed out – solely your salary doesn’t define the economic class you’re in. I make more money than my friends from high school, but unlike them I have rent to pay because they’re living in apartments their parents bought (either for them or years prior as ‘investment’).
This became even clearer to me as I aged. My friends are inheriting significant wealth from their parents while I am expecting to have to help my poorer parents out as they age. I was the most financially successful of my little group, but in the past couple of years they have all blown way past me due to generational wealth. I applaud you for bringing this up. I donât think we talk about it much because nobody (including me!) wants to be told we had an unfair advantage.
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I grew up middle class⌠no summer sleep away camps, not one international trip growing up, and at 18 I got pushed out the door without one dollar ever again. But I was never worried about being hungry, thatâs real middle class.