How ‘Sex & The City’ Ruined Women’s Relationship To Money
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In this episode, Chelsea dives into all of the problematic ways Sex & The City portrayed women's financial lives, and the lasting impact that has had on our cultural understanding of money and aspiration.
Carrie Bradshaw, The Original Influencer:
Female writer salaries:
What Carrie spends:
NY Times rent article:
NYC taxi vs subway fare:
Manolos:
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Charlotte was also a trust fund baby so she could work for fun instead of needing to pay bills. Her parents are wealthy folk from Connecticut,
Exactly!
Very important point. I doubt anyone watching the show ever thought she was any kind of role model or example to live up to. It was always clearly obvious she was financially set due to her family status & upbringing & that she was expected to marry into same.
Yes, she was no different from the Gossip Girl folks she mentions.
@Rachel Forshee some people I know at work honestly… and it shows
Yes Charlotte came from money!
Maybe you can do a video on Samantha and Miranda – the opposite of Carrie when it comes to finances.
They are financially savvy, they buy their own apartments, have lifestyles they can actually afford and they actually showcase the obstacles of getting a mortgage by yourself/owning a house ( Samantha’s meltdown when she can’t simply call the landlord when something goes wrong).
They have savings (which they offer Carrie for her downpayment), maturity and perspective, and most of all they work hard for all of it, despite encountering sexist prejudice within their respective workplaces.
Important comment, I would love that!
Came here to say this!
Miranda said – man gives you money, you give him control. & I want to enjoy my success not apologize for it. She HAD the money to spend on take away
Yes PLEASE
100% agree
+1!
Much respect to Kim Catrall for saying No to the reboot.
Especially since she apparently hated the actress who plays Carrie. We like seeing boundaries in real life
It’s good to see boundaries with real life
Yep love Kim Catrall for keeping it real
It is going to be
@@TheKarebear666 I’m so old that SJP is now “the actress that played Carrie.” Lmao
Miranda had a higher power high paying job. Let her enjoy her Chinese takeout
Exactly. Moreover her job came with extra long hours. I don’t see anybody making videos calling out male Manhattan lawyers for not cooking
@@rodittis well if ever a show gets made about four Manhattan lawyers feel free to comment on a video that they sucked for not knowing how to cook
YESSS. A high paying job, great academic background, amazing work ethic and time management. She’s an absolute Queen
Also if she worked those hours, she most likely could have expensed that Chinese take out
I’m so glad you brought up Carrie asking Charlotte for the money for her apartment. No storyline on that show made me as angry as that one. Carrie felt ENTITLED to Charlotte’s money in a way that was so gross I can’t even, all these years later. EUGH.
@Women’s rights was a mistake how many times are you going to reply this?
I feel the same! I was quite young when that episode come out and I was baffled how Charlotte was made out to be uncomfortable. then villainized and in the end, she apologized. Watchers who were already raised to be a pushover must have been so badly affected. Infuriating.
I STILL CANNOT EITHER! THE GALL!!
I so loved Sex and the City, but I knew I couldn’t ever afford most of the stuff that was noted.
But in my own way I did, I went to NYC with my cousin and got my Mahlonos at MB out let for 1/4 of the price and when I saw other things I went to outlets to get the things I wanted that I could get in my budget. In the instance of dating a lot should have been viewed in the shoes of Kim Catrells character, when dating Smith Jared, he loved Samantha’s character what should have been noted when she got injured, she finally allow Jared to help her….. that being an instance of thinking about common sense and humbling herself, that I say was a good thing to learn.
Agreed. That episode really pissed me off.
The commandments of lending friends/family money: DON’T!!! It alters your relationship forever. If you want to help a friend financially give them a gift without expectation of repayment or don’t do it at all. The end.
Neither a lender nor a borrower be!
this is my exact philosophy
Definitely! The 1 or 2 occasions I gave friends money, they said it would just be a loan and they would pay me back. But I gave the money with the full expectation that they never would, even though they are good friends and insisted they would repay it. They never did pay me back, but because I framed it in my mind as a gift, not loan, I never remind them and just view the money as gone for good so I’m fine with it. That being said, there was one occasion where a friend DID pay me back and I was pleasantly surprised. But yeah, never give friends or family money with the expectation you will get it back
This is my personal motto
Where I’m from, you’re expected to share your money with each other with ur fam members. That’s just how it is here. And in all honesty, it has worked pretty well for my fam members. Just lately they all spent money together to buy my grandparents the needed med equipment for covid-19 since they caught it. It really does depend. I personally don’t like it since I want independence, unlike this whole “let’s share everything together” lifestyle, but at the very same time, I know some people would just prefer that helping hand whenever they needed it. And here ur never expected to pay ur siblings back for the money unless it’s a really big amount and u can repay it. But on some occasions my grandpa has payed his sister-in-laws electricity bill which came up to 100€ (its expensive here if it’s THAT much, since I’m aware in some other parts it’s not a big deal) and he didn’t expect anything in return. So yeah, just do whatever u prefer. Ofc not everyone is privileged enough to have fam members who’ll do that for u without taking advantage of u, but if u can and that’s what u want, go ahead
I felt the same way about Friends and many other shows. They portrayed completely unrealistic lifestyles in incredibly expensive cities by characters earning very modest income.
Friends was worse than SATC in everyway possible. The fact that I don’t remember half their jobs is enough. Plus the amount of time during the day spent at the coffee shop.
@@Shay416 It always seemed like they barely ever worked.
They made a lot of fun for themselves about the topic of spending too much time at the coffee shop on several episodes.
A lot of it is not understanding the culture of NYC then. Rent control, cheap food, no cars for most people.
I didn’t see Friends as a problem in portraying finances. Ross, a postgraduate professor, Chandler a (what we’d call today) a data analyst and Monic a as a head chef in a top restaurant would all have been earning well, yet staying in rent controlled apartments, walking everywhere and over-staying in the coffeeshop after a likely $1 coffee. Rachel leeched off Monica before she made it, and Joey on Chandler. My problem with Friends was the double standards in relationships and friendships. Ie, on Ross’s first date with Rachel he slept with her on the museum because of work, but Ross made a big deal of Rachel’s work demands when she got her big role and dumped her for it etc.
Talking about Carrie is exactly what makes me love the movie, “Confessions of a Shopaholic”. It’s a silly movie, but gets across a brilliant message about the tolls of consumerism addiction, and actually taught the protagonist that it wasn’t fashion she really cares about, but MONEY, and what it allows her to do. It’s kind of a shame Carrie didn’t learn this lesson back then.
The book was my first in realizing the relationship between women and money. It made me reconsider so much!
@@amandahaas2272 I do need to check out the book, I haven’t read it yet.
Im a straight male,but I love that movie as well,hasnt stopped me from spending unreasonably though lool
@@ivailoshkafov9033 It’s a fun movie, though, right? I know I enjoyed it.
In reality, being diagnosed as a shopaholic has more to do with a compulsive disorder than money.
How was Aiden “kind of pathetic”? Aiden was the one who liked and loved Carrie from the start of their relationship – unlike Big who treated Carrie like a f- buddy while they were “dating”; and a side piece while HE was married!
Also, I hated that Aiden was treated as unreasonable for not being able to forgive Carrie for her affair with Big — no, Carrie, he does NOT have to forgive you!
And when Aiden asks for the money HE PAID for the apartment (remember that arc where she was going to be on the street because the building went condo/co-op — It’s been awhile — and Aiden paid for it?), he gets written like some kind of bad guy because he’s not going to give her the place for free? Really? He’s just supposed to give the woman who cheated on him a condo/co-op worth thousands of dollars who isn’t even his wife? REALLY? Because if Carrie had been the one to purchase the apartment for Aiden, then everyone would have been screaming, “Get your money back, Carrie!”
Aiden was the opposite of pathetic! And I stopped watching the show once Carrie went back to Big, because DAMN, crawling back to a dude who can’t commit to you, and has to be dragged kicking and screaming to say, “I love you” is what’s really pathetic.
This! Exactly! I like Aiden he is a good guy and the show wanted to perpetuate that “nice guys finish last” when it comes to Aiden. Carrie is as bad as Mr Big and its better that they didn’t end up together because a guy like Aiden deserves better
AMEN! I could never understand why Carrie was so obsessed with him. He literally was a bunch of red flags from the moment they meet – he doesn’t care about her at all. I was always disgusted by the portrayal of that “relationship.”
I think they wrote the show that way, Carrie going after an “unattainable” man, because there are many women that do this, so they wanted to portray that. A lot of women and even men, want someone that is hard to get or unattainable and who can’t commit to them.
100% THIS!!!
I didn’t think that Aiden was portrayed or perceived as the bad guy. He was the only decent guy Carrie dated.
The worst aspect of this is that the irresponsible behaviour never has any consequences. It teaches people that even if they’re in financial trouble you have nothing to fear because someone else will save you. Seeing this lack of consequences makes people take these issues way less serious.
THIS!!!
Only if u r really dumb…
I remember thinking: Why doesn’t Carrie sell a few dozen of her expensive designer shoes to get the money for a rental downpayment?
Same! And she has all those clothes too. Some she doesn’t wear anymore. Not just in the closet but in all her cupboards (and oven) in her kitchen… like that bird purse Big got her. While it was ugly it probably cost a fortune (since he doesn’t do cheap)…
@@dessy0713 she could have moved in with one of her friends. Thats not really like living on the streets. Or she could have tried to find a smaller apartment. Also those shoes were like her friends and she had a emotional connection with them. And losing like 80% of a former investment is seriously stupid if you could still gain 120% when you wait a bit.
These used shoes hold little value
I HATED the storyline for Carrie trying to buy the apartment, her entitlement with Charlotte was SO gross! Then in the end, after Big already gives her all the money she needed for the purchase, Charlotte gives her her engagement ring from Trey, and that was supposed to be nice gesture……but like…Carrie already had the money from Big!!! Wtf???
Consignment wasn’t a thing at that time it was just buy , hoard and live paycheck to paycheck for these women
The story line about Carrie, Charlotte and the ring has ALWAYS driven me nuts, especially because during this point in the story, Charlotte complains bitterly about not being able to get a job because she had “too much experience.”
What I wish had happened instead is that Charlotte sold the ring for the funds to start her own gallery and Carrie sold 50% of her insane wardrobe on the newly exploding Ebay to come up with the down payment for her apartment. Resulting in each woman having walked away from the experience using the resources they have to solve their problems. It would have been so much more empowering and satisfying. Carrie could have reflected on Aiden’s point that she didn’t wear a lot of her clothes, maybe done a fun in-apartment fashion show with her friends and they all end screaming when a dress that wasn’t right for her sold for a freakishly high bid on ebay. It would have been super cute.
@@genxx2724 ebay was founded in 1995. Granted, it definitely saw it’s rise on the backs of beanie babies (if I recall correctly, about 10% of it’s initial listing volume). In 2002, when carrie was buying her apartment, ebay was a publicly traded company worth 21 billion dollars. If I recall correctly, Carrie uses internet to email Aiden at one point around this time in the series so she is aware of its existence. Also, if I my memory serves me, Miranda tells carrie that she can shop online, to which Carrie responds “oh no, shopping is my cardio.” At this point, I think the writers could have had the storyline diverge into Carrie rethinking her relationship with the internet and it would have been plausible. But perhaps you’re right and only “freaks” were using it. good thing carrie had Big’s and Tray’s money to fall back on or she would have been in a pickle.
@@genxx2724 over 600 million people used the internet in 2002
@@juliagrowsinportlandI was emailing in 1988, but I worked in IT
I do still rarely buy clothes from the Internet.
this would have been so so much more fun!!!!!
Yes that would have inspired so many woman to work together to solve their own problems than relying on men to save them
The only one that was financially irresponsible was Carrie. Charlotte came from money so she desired a man with the same wealth or more, she also could afford to work just for fun. Miranda was a workaholic lawyer and Samantha worked in PR. Both of them didn’t have to cook and could afford to get take out. some of these points are not valid.
But there was a lot of emphasis on going out & conspicuous consumption (bags, shoes). No balance w/ saving & investing, which is essential & “making a man your financial plan”.
There were a few points that were overblown and not really applicable to the time the show was made but I feel like they were still mostly valid. The delivery thing was pretty unfair though. SATC is set before the gig economy and the apps that inflate the cost of food delivery enormously. Miranda wasn’t using Postmates. She using her landline. She didn’t pay a fee to get that Chinese food delivered. They delivered for free… and they probably didn’t make her pay tax if she paid in cash.
They wasted alot of money.
@@TheMetrored Miranda probably wasn’t paying delivery fees, but seems like a good tipper. Delivery some places here (California) was still free with a certain $ purchase within a certain range (ours was like $6-7 minimum purchase within 1 mile) up until 2020. Delivered by bicycle messenger, lunch deal was $8, portions were pretty generous, and they were FAST. I don’t think I could make a plate of broccoli beef in 16 minutes if my life depended on it, so it wasn’t something I could easily replace by cooking- and I can cook! 4 years later, it’s more than doubled in price, the quality suffered, there’s a bunch of fees, and they’re using Doordash instead of employing their own delivery person so it’s really slow. They’ve been replaced in our hearts by pickup from the taqueria. I loathe Doordash.
The “taking cabs all around NYC” thing is truly what bugged me the most about Carrie! Even some of the most wealthiest people in NYC take the buses. No one takes a damn cab everywhere here (well, pre-pandemic days)
This is super accurate. You take a cab when it’s late or the weather is bad. You are probably going to get where you are going quicker on the train.
Funny thing is I’ve seen photos of Sarah Jessica Parker riding the subway.
Fun fact, in the pre-911 days in NYC cabs were cheaper and faster than busses or trains.
I’m from NYC and even when inwas younger in my teens and 20s, it was nothing to catch a cab back then. Of course now it’s much more expensive.
But the accuracy of the show is spot on. If you ever been on a NYC subway in your life, you’ll understsnd why some folks chooses to take a cab instead.
The pandemic was a scam.
Idk some people are busy and they don’t have an hour to sit on the bus to go 3 miles.
I always find it interesting when people who have all the time in the world can’t even conceive of people being busy
I had a friend like this in my 20s. She would get out on the street in her car and she would get really upset that everyone has someplace to be. Ma’am they’re trying to get to work, or they might have a court date that is important, or a doctors appointment they’ve waited for for four months. Just because you have nowhere to be doesn’t mean other people don’t have a tight schedule
But… Samantha OWNED her PR firm and Miranda was a Harvard graduate and lawyer in NYC who worked A LOT. It is reasonable that they were very wealthy. And Charlotte might have inherited (she definitely came from money). If I earned 1000$ per hour, I think takeaway 4 times a week is probably saving me time aka money.
I feel like Carrie is just written as a self-destructive character. Whether it is her smoking, spending, or dating. She makes bad choices but unlike in real life, they never haunt her (for long).
The ultimate bad example.
Actually, that’s how it works in the real world as well. I was shocked to find out the amount of debt American women carry into marriage. The husband usually bails them out.
This makes her more relatable than the other characters that are quite stereotypical and completely exaggerated
Neither of you lived in NYC.
As someone who has, what’s your point? @@ValerieRoyModel
The other day I saw a clothing store window display that said something like “when your wallet says no but your heart says yes”. Just outrageous that bad financial decisions are now a marketing device!
Ohhhhh, I’d love to see that on an add for re-financing agencies.
“When your wallet screamed no but your stupid SATC-imprinted heart said yes” .
It’s all about brainwashing.
It’s called marketing, their job is to sell you things not to give you financial advice lol. You should be smart enough to not hand your money to people like there’s no tomorrow.
I sorta miss being a kid…. when couldnt get something, thats it. Makes me wanna not step outside of house due to that effect in comment.
The only outrageous part is that so many women fall for t.
The fact I’ve never seen a full episode of sex and the city but know so much about shows how iconic, influential and powerful this show was
I knew this girl who declared bankruptcy at age 26 ! Because she spent like crazy had 7 credits cards and took out cash advances like nobody’s business ! Chick went on vacations on the credit cards and paid off some cards with others , crazy , all while working at Applebees . I’ll never forget her stories .
Another variant of ‘Live fast, die young.’
As a dude who can´t cook and mostly eats takeout, I can confirm – its a true money hemorrage. I´ve been trying to learn how to cook precisely because this is likely my biggest source of spending.
My advice to you is to take out a time-limited (say 6 months to 1 year) subscription to a meal prep service. Why? You will still absolutely be spending money cause you havent taken 100% responsibility to cook all meals yet, but this will be a manageable and fun way to get you into both discipline, habit & knowledge of cooking before you go solo.
Those meal service things like Factor & Blue Apron come with recipe cards and perfectly pre-portioned raw ingredients that you only have to do basic prep for. That’s going to naturally build your recipe repertoire over time as you become familiar with how to prepare dishes you like, and also baby-steps you into food prep incl measuring, chopping, slicing, seeing what combos & flavours work together.
After a few months of doing this diligently, you’ll learn (both muscle memory & practical skills) what all good cooks know: cooking is a basic set of skills and once you’ve reached a certain level, everything is cheaper to prepare yourself.
Then you’ll cancel your subscription when you feel confident enough & start reaping savings. And if you ever plan to have kids in future, ensure you cook with them so they don’t have to learn cooking the expensive way.