How Not To Settle: In Dating, Business, & Life
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In this special episode of The Financial Confessions, Chelsea sits down with Les Alfred, founder of the She's So Lucky Podcast (formerly known as Balanced Black Girl) for a conversation about building a successful media brand, navigating toxic wellness culture, dating, relationships, prenups, and more.
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Chelsea talking about how the choice to not have kids ratchets up the pressure in other areas felt very real for me today. I am in a spot financially where if someone brings up kids I can just be like “with what money?!” But I have known for a decade that I don’t want kids and changes in my financial situation won’t impact that. So the pressure to look a certain way and have a very clean house and reach some level of professional success feels like a shield I am trying to construct to ward off the relatives.
I think I’m just brutally honest with people on the subject of not wanting kids, lol. I like a quiet household. I like being able to do whatever I want to do, whenever I want to, even if that’s just sitting at home and doing nothing. It’s what works for my sanity and if someone has a problem with that, they are more than welcome to have a child or more children on my behalf. Kids are okay in small amounts with their parents present but otherwise, it’s just not for me.
I don’t have a major career or anything else to deflect to. Most nights, I’m sitting on the cough vegging out to YouTube (trying to get better at that, lol). Or maybe playing a video game (I refuse to cut that out of my life but I only game about twice a month if I Square Enix hasn’t released something for me to obsess over, lol). I guess I’ve just gotten to a point where I feel I’m living my life the best that I can right now and if someone has a problem with that, that’s *their* problem (yes, evennif I wrre married and this was coming from the in-laws), not mine. How sad of an existence they must live to really think that’s the only value a woman can have. I also think these people have to then confront the fact that they have nothing else to connect with you over. Their life is actually boring so the most they can do to sound interesting is talk about kids.
Oh, damn. It’s the in-person equivalent to “mommy vlogging”. Women with nothing really interesting about themselves so they have to film their kids. Yikes 😅
I wasn’t familiar with Les so I started to get a little nervous, as someone in ED recovery, about the wellness angle and you both kept saying all the “right” things to let me relax and enjoy the conversation overall! Thanks for being an oasis in ableist and fatphobic society to talk about things that should be neutral in a neutral way, unstigmatized way.
Glad you were able to enjoy the conversation!
Thank you for speaking to the privilege of health! Honestly, it’s the biggest indicator of where/how your life will go. I really appreciate you both talking about this.
I’d love to see a full episode about health privilege.
The primary parent talk was so real. I am so apprehensive to kids because of this
Also yall got spam bots marketing some loser crypto guy. All the accounts responding to the comment are 4 months old.
lol the minimalists episode was a trip. They were so robotic too
I posted in a discord server about my frustrations with how concerns with one’s health and fitness have come to be ‘right-wing-coded’ and someone responded to me saying: “austerity in health/social spending is an easier sell to people if they can be convinced that most of their problems are from personal responsibility” 💯💯💯
Ugh exactly!!
And the people most likely to be convinced are the people who could probably bring about systemic changes if they banded together😢
26:59 I was like is Chelsea gonna…oh yes she is…and I’m still just nodding and yep yep yepping
34:57 thank you Les for bringing up how much of a privilege health is!! I am chronically ill and now disabled although not “legally disabled” so I am constantly reminded how much of a difference money could make in every facet of every day of my life and that is getting harder and harder to communicate with people about sincerely
I’m 30 and I am working on overcoming the internalized idea that the most I can hope for from a partner is to be tolerated by someone who is a good roommate.
An episode interviewing a successful woman who became a single mother by choice would be very appealing.
1:11:41 LMAAAOOOO! Chelsea never skips a beat! Loved this episode. thank you Chelsea <33
Thank you so much for having me! Loved this conversation.
My fav pod omg!!!
8:08 yessssss our lack of walkable cities is what keeps us all so sedentary, whenever people travel outside the US they always says it the food that made them lose weight and not all the walking they did lol
Well that and the fact that American is both more sugary and fatty😭
The pressure to be excellent to justify not having kids is so frustrating. It’s like if your womb is empty then your trophy case better be full. But I chose not to have them because I just want to chill!!
Chelsea’s hair channeling her inner Elastigirl ✨
I need to rebrand my IBS because it is ruining my life
You guys exude so much of the same energy haha 😂 at some points listening on headphones, I was thinking wait who is talking now?
Running to subscribe to the podcast, this conversation was so good! (also very excited about the Tia Williams episode specifically)
@@OnlyIfForAPage thank you so much!
The dating portion was so on the nose. 48:03 50:12 Gagged by these answers 👏Glad to be introduced to Les Alfred, thanks Chelsea.
This is such an unexpected but delightful cross over episode!!! Love it when my faves link up!
I did a social media “course” (free) and absolutely was just in a comment/engagement MLM