Growing Up Poor: When “Good” Money Advice Doesn’t Apply
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Chelsea sits down with Jessica Oudbier to talk about her struggles with PTSD, fighting for disability money, growing up poor, and building a life without most of the financial tools we're expected to have.
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Looking forward to this one- this is such an important topic and a perspective that often gets overlooked in our society. Thanks, Chelsea and to your guest for sharing.
It’s rare to get to meet someone who makes you feel “she’s just like me!” I resonated so hard with her trauma and humorous sarcasm, I’m crying. Thank you for bringing her on and sharing her story! People need to sees that people like us exist!
Literally, what she said about “making characters out of equations”: she is the only other person apart from me who has ever talked about this, it’s not just me 😭
I really appreciate how vulnerable this guest was willing to be. She could be truly saving so many people from getting into a bad situation or preventing them from giving up on themselves. I work with people all day, every day and it this guest reminds me that I need to give myself grace when I am having trouble functioning at an optimum level and that I need to extend that grace to others when they need it. Excellent content.
This is why I’ve always felt like we need several different genres of financial advice.
Some “hacks” those of us at the very bottom do to survive (get that sex work money as amazon gift cards so that SSI can’t see it in your bank account, be in line at the ebt office at 6am or you wont be seen, make your disability more visible and act dumb for the ssi judge, not too dumb or theyll assign you a payee….) would make ordinary folks blanch… or it would confuse them.
i grew up poor and always worried about money. now im an adult and i save save save, i hate spending money on anything because what if i wont have enough for food again?
my dream is to travel but when i think that a dream destination for me would be 3-4 thousand dollars, that makes me never want to leave my house.
I feel you. I want to go all over, but right now, I am starting small by doing short trips to other cities. I dealt with a lot of financial insecurity growing up and it has taken years to develop a safety net and then to feel safe spending money.
I get it so much, so hard to let yourself buy something you want, plan for the trip you’ve dreamed about. And so much envy towards people who can just buy tickets, book the hotel and go without any huge lists of planned activities with prices… I’m earning a good amount of money (for the place I live in), but feel more poor than people who can just go to the shop and buy the boots they liked because I can’t do it
Need job that sends you there on their dime. not as fun as doing it for and by yourself, but I’ve heard from engineers this has been a worthwhile experience for them. Not sure If your job can lend to this or if you’d be willing to work on something new to get there. But I want to believe you’ll manage a way of making it happen and enjoying yourself in the end. Im rooting for you
My husband became disabled in 2006 from COPD. He loved to work, defined himself by work, and we needed his income. It took us several years of his trying part-time work, only to have some sort of medical crisis happen each time before we realized that being unable to work consistently is the definition of disability.
That is my situation as well. Thats exactly it, being unable to work consistently is the issue. And the judgment that goes with it, most people don’t understand, so I don’t tell them or face being harshly judged.
Thank you Jessica. We need a podcast talking about military SA and how you are tossed aside afterwards. I myself went through this and it like ok you are of no longer use because your broken so get out and here’s a check as a reminder. I would forgo any amount of money to be who I once was. And don’t get me started on the VA 🤦🏾♀️. Thank you again for sharing your story you are very brave.
First off, I think she would be an amazing stand-up comedian because she’s equal parts hilarious and tragic in an extremely human way. Second, a lot of this is going to stick with me. “We are one head injury away from becoming monsters.”
I was so glad she talked about head injuries. I’m disabled from a traumatic brain injury in a car rollover accident, and so is my neighbor from a motorcycle accident. We both came back two different people than before. Impulse control is really hard now, and so is mood regulation and short term memory.
Thank you, thank you, thank you for addressing this issue. My situation is a little different but I’m a survivor of violent abuse and stalking, and now have severe C-PTSD. I’m on permanent SSDI (Social Security Disability for my C-PTSD). I used to make a good living in the corporate world prior to all of this, but spent my entire savings on legal matters escaping the violent abusive stalker. He was quite wealthy and we never married. I finally escaped around the age of 50 yo, and now I have no home (living at my sisters home) with no savings, and trying to figure out how to move past just surviving to thriving at this age. In addition to my SSDI, I do work two days per week at a very simple, minimum wage paying job, (entirely opposite of my lifelong career at fortune 500’s) so I put some of that added part-time work money away while living at my sisters. But in this economy, it feels entirely uphill. There’s really no justice for this type of scenario. Early retirement on SSDI with no savings is not enough and certainly not retribution for someone who’s worked very hard, but experienced severe violence and trauma.
I’m incredibly grateful for this episode – so much of financial advice and online information is focused on individuals who didn’t come from broken or abusive homes or aren’t disabled. My parents transferred their poverty and poor financial behaviors and I’ve had to drag myself out of that cycle by my nails it feels like. Having a partner who came from a “normal” family it’s so stark how much further down the path of financial stability they are than I am which can make me feel so much shame. This episode was so incredibly validating and normalizing for me.
This is by far my favourite guest and favourite conversation that I have seen on this channel. I really respect Jessica, you are honest, straightforward and are the most down to earth and realistic American I have heard on a podcast. I really wish you all the best and hope being on this podcast brings something good into your life
« When in doubt, take a nap » is the best advice I’ve ever heard on this damn internet
Yeah, I also learned it from my cat XD
I would love to read a book by this guest or have a Part 2 interview. She is so down-to-earth, self-aware, intelligent, funny, and sarcastic. Loved this conversation!!
same!!! I enjoy her sharing with such vulnerability
My first and last reaction to this interview are both “Wow.” The vulnerability that Jessica came to this conversation with was amazing. I appreciate everything that she shared and I’m glad to know her story. She is definitely saying out loud a lot of what people are thinking. And that’s good. We should say more of those things out loud.
Hello, I’m Jessica Oudbier. Thank you so much for all of your kind words of encouragement and kindness. I was unsure how my interview would be recieved.
I would love to follow you on twitter if you have it?
This is one of the best episodes of the financial confession I have ever watched. You perfectly explained the hardship that is so hard to explain to someone who had a great childhood without any form of abuse. Yet, you still motivated me to continue the struggle in this unfair system. I really needed this interview in my life. Thank you.
Thank you for the interview! Were you in the Navy? What was your rate?
@wandat7275 I was an OS but specialized pretty early on and worked closely with allied forces and ship hopped frequently so my deployments were weird. I frequently got confused with other family members until I got my name changed. Boy were they upset when a girl showed up, lol.
@@narutolearner you are inherently valuable just as you are. No matter how hard or how little you work for some boss. It doesn’t mean we aren’t responsible for our actions or whatever, but all of us are inherently valuable. Nobody can take that away from us.
“When I am well enough is when I can fight for myself for when I am weak” 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
This is such a great description of the struggles in fighting for your own mental health care. To be strong enough in a fixed moment to fight for your mental health, makes it hard for other people to imagine you ever struggle. But the truth is, that one moment is just that……a moment…..I wish more people could understand that.
This one really hit home.
I’m also a military member with ADHD (suspected ASD as well). In Canada there was actually a class action lawsuit against the government for sexual misconduct in the military. It was retraumatizing to go through the process, and the payout felt weird and dirty, like I was exploiting my own suffering. I try to reframe it and view it as any other settlement you would get for an injury or pain and suffering. It’s such a complex space to maneuver.
I am so sorry this happened to you.thank you for fighting to have it recognized and stay written as precedent.im rooting for you, and wish for your health and joy in the future
Chelsea, you handled this conversation with such grace and kindness i truly appreciate it. I am a former service member with so many mirrored struggles as Jessica. Thank you for giving this conversation a platform and handling it with such care. Thank you so much to your whole team. And thank you, Jessica for sharing your story 🤍
There’s a lot of wisdom there, especially these things:
1) Securing financial resources for the future, to not be dependent on other people.
2) Not marrying and having kids young.
3) Not having kids just for the sake of having family.
I can’t get over her saying “I’m broken.” You’re not broken. You’re a complete human soul endowed with divinity, energy, light, and love. Nothing that happens to you could ever take that away. Your body is a vessel, your mind is a medium, but your soul is pure. As someone that has been sexually assaulted and nearly killed myself I would never EVER describe myself as “broken” because words have power and you are making yourself believe that.
“We’re all one head injury away from becoming monsters.” Sheesh, never looked at financial and life planning that way, but that’s so real.