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Joe Lilli
This was a terrible thing to watch after the day I’ve had. Good luck to her, the come down will suck.
why are we not finally over this!!
I doubt something so medieval would be even thought in sweden
I really wonder if Swedes have actually achieved equality. Heard women report being unsatisfied with men over there.
@
what do you think that means?
This made me almost cry not because of how god damn true it is but because of how rarely I hear this perspective. The mainstream narratives are all false and catered to men indeed. It’s bloody frustrating. Women live in a matrix, not men haha 😂
Literally. So many manlets crying about matrix as if all of them work on oil rigs and have princesses at home. While in reality the majority of them work the same type of jobs as women do AND a woman also gets pregnant (and has to deal with all the risks and consequences that come with that), delivers children, is a primary parent, cleaner, cook, family admin, caretaker for the elderly family members etc. etc. Bye
Who thinks marriage is a good idea and why? I hear complaints from guys, who also see it as a trap.
Same, we’re not even taught to expect the same things from marriage. Women are taught it’s all about being an accessory to a man. What can women do for a man: cook, clean, look pretty, be quiet and give him children. What exactly are men taught about being married? What do they have to do? Go to work. They don’t even teach men the “Three Ps”: Provide, protect and Profess.
A marriage where bother partners are working together towards goals and actually like each other sounds pretty nice. There’s just so much baggage that both partners have to work through to get to that point. Some have an easier time than others.
@@Sonic6293But why is it better than civil unions and cohabitation? What if conservative movements decide to put an end to no-fault divorce?
@@nevergiveup9937 It doesn’t have to be. There are the legal aspects like property rights, tax benefits, hospital visitation, power of attorney, etc, that make marriage more advantageous than a civil union or cohabitation.
That said, it’s a legal contract. It’s not something to enter lightly. If conservatives start to push for ending no-fault divorce, I think it would have a negative effect. Marriage is not the only way to show a long term committed relationship, it’s just the socially accepted one. For better or worse, it’s also the one where the government is heavily involved.
@@Sonic6293 most of those legal aspects can be gained through individual contracts, and tax advantages benefit men more if they’re the ones working outside the home. I have a married friend who is a housewife and her husband raises objections every time she wants a job cause what she earns is going to be deducted from his part. So basically marriage can be used to discourage women from becoming independent.
Another problem I have with marriage is that it creates a false sense of financial security. Women marry and become housewives thinking that they’re going to be entitled to a lot in case of a divorce. Which is often not the case.
It’s like all the kumbayah of 90’sand 2010’s about girl power have been completely eviscerated and now we’re back to 1950’s
relationships are trade-offs. if you are OK with an older guy who can pay the bills, rather than a younger guy who cannot, fair enough. i am not gonna back seat drive someone elses life, when my own is in shambles, said no one on the internet, ever.
Equal partnership in a marriage in the US is a myth😂
Yes!!! It’s a huge reason why I’m out off men, and have been single so long. I don’t want a passenger
Yes, these men should be going 50-50 on cleaning 50-50 on cooking 50-50 on childcare etc with the partner/wife.
Agreed, but it is usually women who prefer domestic labor to getting a job…
@@bonononchev634majority of women have jobs, so the women you’re talking about are a very small %
If you ‘bag a man’ because you’re really young, you’ll probably lose him once you’re older, or he’ll cheat on you with someone younger. It’s not sustainable find someone who loves you for you at whatever age 30, 35,25,45…
Are there really that few guys out there that contribute equally at home? I mean, I know it’s not all and probably not even a majority, but I know a good few, including my husband. Honestly, my husband is better at housework than I am. I definitely agree that you shouldn’t marry someone who won’t do their equal share at home and with kids. I didn’t even know if I wanted kids until I met my husband and was sure I had one that wouldn’t make me do more than my half of the work. Don’t settle ladies!
Many mn do all that and do the classic switch up once the chldrn come.
@manifest2203 I’m sure that’s been the experience of some people. But I’ve personally never known any that were actually splitting things equally before kids and then switched over to not carrying their fair share. I actually think it’s far more common for women to be lying to themselves about who they’re with before having kids. Either blinded by love, convinced they can make things better over time, or just wanting so badly to believe they’ve found the one.
@@love4theagesthis rhetoric is dangerous. Saying “I don’t believe women who say their man switched up after kids” is seriously shitty because first of all it happens all the time, but it’s also victim blaming to say that women are ignoring signs because you have zero clue if there were any signs. It’s something people like to tell themselves because the reality that this could happen to them, their own spouse could switch up and stop being the equal partner they were is terrifying, so it’s easier to tell yourself the women this happened to were just stupid women who ignored signs. This exact same line of thinking is used when talking about abusive partners. It’s too upsetting to think it could happen to you so you’re blaming the victims by saying they ignored signs you’ve decided were there, whether or not that’s true. Why not actually believe women and their VERY COMMON experience about the switch up after kids?
@cookieaddictions I literally didn’t say that – I started off by saying I’m sure some women have that experience. So I stopped reading after that sentence since you didn’t read what I said. Go troll someone else. Picking fights with random women on the internet over something you made up does nothing to move the cause forward.
@@love4theages what? Read your own words again. Your comment says you believe “some people” have this experience only to then say that you think it’s “far more common for women” to be ignoring signs. This shows you are generally dismissive of the idea that this is a common experience (thought you have sympathy for the few you believe it happens to), and that you think you know better than women about how common it is, just because it didn’t happen to you. It’s not trolling to respond to your own words. I think it’s far more harmful to the cause to lift your personal experience over the common ones of millions of women, acting as if this problem of a lack of men contributing at home is just a small problem a small number of women experience.
It’s just as bad as men telling women to “choose better” when they speak publicly about these issues, as if widespread issues like this can be avoided by choosing better. You can’t “out choose” a widespread issue like this, that’s why people like Chelsea speak about it publicly. I’m trying to point out how harmful language like this can be, but you just want to call any criticism “trolling.” Well, I tried.
I hope you have a good day with your wonderful husband, but maybe this will make you think about the way you judge other women or minimize their issues. Based on the fact that you say you stopped reading past the first sentence, I doubt it will. Women truly are our own enemies.
Women have been going to college to get their MRS degree for decades. As you state, this is nothing new. But yeah, this half measure of what marriage is currently is frustrating. All its done is increase the burdens of the relationship on women. So, there’s no wonder why a woman isn’t going to want to do all the work inside and outside the home for two people when she’s already doing for one just fine. Meanwhile, you have a certain subset of men complaining about not feeling needed or wanted by women, yet not wanting to make the necessary changes to their mindset or take on more responsibility in other areas of the relationship. It’s silly and frustrating that people will continue to talk past each other and not make honest attempts at solving an issue that’s well within the power of the population to do so.
Most wmn will never meet a ma2n who does as much as they do for the household and chldrn. I am glad more wmn are waking up to this realisation.
I remember my chemistry lab partner in college saying she was there for her Mrs degree
That’s messed up
Never married. Went from AFDC to wealthy on my own. Two daughters. Over it.
It is a scam a 💯 percent
It could “work” back when we didn’t have contraceptives. Nowadays if he married you for your youth and you couldn’t tie him to your by getting pregnant what prevents him leaving you 10 years later for the younger “sample”.
He can still leave even if you have a kid ..
Western countries are in trouble
This kinda things are not common in my countries
It’s because of Individualism in west
So the conclusion to what you’re pointing actually is NOT that “equal marriage” is a scam, but that “equal marriage” doesn’t mean 50-50 on the financial burden while keeping an ancient traditional repartition of the Household chores. Equal marriage still remains the best model, and it means 50-50 on the financial burden AND household chores.
Any two of the spouses whom is fine with household chores being unequally partitioned and their spouse taking on more, should expect the Financial Burden to be unequally partitioned too, and themself taking on more of it.
Yes, but you also have to factor care of elderly relatives, holiday hosting, maintaining relationships (emotional labor), etc. and most of this responsibility falls on women as well. Only a small percentage of men will actually share in these chores because most aren’t raised with an expectation to handle them. It isn’t feasible that the majority of women will find an “equal partner,” hence the scam.
@MysticQueen1983 thus the problem is that men won’t take half of this on too. Saying “equal marriage is a scam, girls should just shoot for asymmetric financial contributions in their favour” would further entrench and sanctuarize inequality in the domains you just talked about, while we should rather liberate women from these.
Thanks for educating!
I really like this video!! I agree with you and really liked how you laid out your claims and backed them up. I also like how you stuck to picking apart the flaws of the logic in the article and your one personal opinion about the writing style was clearly stated as an aside and was also relevant to the broader context of what other people have been talking about; I haven’t heard of this anywhere else yet so it was useful info to know that some people might be judging it based simply on not liking the writing, but there are also valid criticisms both of the article and the broader concept.
As a younger person I have started to realize that I connect easily to people who are older than me in romantic settings, pretty much just as often as people my own age, and after doing some reflecting I realized it’s not that I’m attracted to people who are THAT much older, I’m just at an age where a lot of people who say they’re poly are actually just experimenting, and I’m REALLY attracted to people who know what they want and like and who have enough emotional maturity to take things at a pace they’re actually comfortable with. And enough emotional maturity to understand that attraction =/= longterm compatibility, especially when I have plans to move in with two of my partners who aren’t dating each other (in case you’re wondering, the original plan was to move in with my longest relationship; we’ve already decided we’re going to be together for life and wanting to live together was always a part of that plan. However, we both REALLY love the idea of having our own separate bedrooms to sleep in and hide away in and have as a sanctuary (we both have autism and ocd and chronic pain and we need recharge time and the security of knowing that our room is going to be just the way we want it to be when we can’t take one more thing being out of place). This means it’s pretty easy to introduce my other partner into the space as long as they get along as well in person as they currently seem to be doing, especially because that partner ALSO gets the appeal of having your own space and having a really nice den/guest room setup with a big comfy bed and tv for cuddles. Anyone new that I date has gotta get with the program and that probably means being ok with living separately! And, anyways, ESPECIALLY as a poly person, I just am not interested in people who don’t have their future plans at least at the level of a vision board where they can confidently point out what’s important to them, and I’m not going to get into a relationship with someone who’s vision board doesn’t align with mine just because we like each other, because I’ve already done that. And honestly not everyone my age has had that realization yet, and that’s okay. I think if someone is attracted to someone who happens to be older than them because they feel really secure and in tune with a partner who’s emotionally mature, and they and that partner still connect well, that’s ok! I really feel for the “think I need someone older~” (/lyr) crowd because I’m sure straight women have a hard time finding men their age who are at their level of emotional maturity. But I know that emotional maturity, understanding yourself, and, to your point, money, and age, aren’t actually the same thing. That’s a really important thing to remember because someone who just has more life experience than you can come off as seeming like a really cool person when really, if you had as much life experience as them, you’d be doing so much better, and they are not actually on your level. And anyone who presents their age as a reason why you should date them probably doesn’t have much to offer you other than a glimpse of the life experience you’ll get in a few years anyway!