Love is great. Financial security is better. Every woman should have an emergency fund that exists just for her—not the household, not shared expenses, just her. Because the best kind of marriage is one where you’re there because you want to be, not because you have to be. 💰✨
#FinancialIndependence #EmergencyFund #WomenAndMoney #MoneyMindset #SecureTheBag
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Do you have advice on how to start becoming financially aware when you’ve been in a marriage where you haven’t dealt with money for 20 years? I’d appreciate advice on the actual baby steps necessary to start. Thank you!
Make a separate bank account,even in a family member name
Find out / understand the costs of living. Bills, mortgage/rent, taxes, phone/ internet, subscriptions,,,, just generally seeing the money that is going in and out
100% agree! Best advice my aunt gave me. You should want a man no NEED one. Learn to take care of yourself.
Khan Academy actually has a brilliant free financial literacy course if you are starting from scratch with no prior knowledge!
start a side hustle on the side
Love this perspective. I see so many in situations of financial abuse or financial dependence, especially in Gen X or Baby Boomer generations. There’s a weird push n pull of “what’s expected” when it comes to the “bread winner” too, and a lot of new demands or expectations that may spring up at you all the sudden when you’re not in control of/have your own resources. It’s people like you who are helping out fellow Millennials and Gen Zs to not follow in our parents’ footsteps/make the same mistakes they may/may not have learned from. Thank you for the time n energy n thoughtfulness you put into giving ✨️ very warm feedback to your growing community. I love it here
You put into words something I’ve been thinking about also. In my case as a Millennial, I accidentally wound up in an unequal situation despite my best intentions. I think a big part was a blind spot in witnessing my Boomer parents model things badly.
The right man won’t be threatened by you protecting yourself. If he throws a fit you quit. Him.
True.
Totally wrong. If you are not completely out of head when you choose and you remain with a man you think It Is right. Aren’t you?? So… When you discover he Is not right It Is too late to protect yourself. And your children! Have you ever heard about women that discover suddenly to be cheated or their men waste all the money in drugs or gambling, or worse, that their men Is a pedop.iles? Ask and talk with women around you! I also add that a real good man Is the first in the couple to pretend you are economically indipendent because he cares about you and he wants to protect you. He wants you choose him because you love him and not because you are forced to. He also doesn’t want to exploited your efforts if he becomes richier and you remain with anything in your wallet if not asking him Money as if you were a prostitute or a beggar. A real right man wants a woman at his side, not a slave or a kid to feed. If we would live in a società where women can not work It was the only solution, but since we are not in such a place… please, with all my heart and worrying about your future… think carefulky about it. 😊🙏🏻
So beautifully put. And people don’t understand how much having a chld is a bu4rden on wmn. For most chldrn, mthrs are the pr8mary caretakers and most fthrs don’t even ask for custody. All the parenting is pushed on to women with no help. And on top of that, mn don’t want to pay chld support either. The average chld support is just 400, which barely covers anything. So women are doing both the parenting and the providing for the chldrn. Women need to be way more aggressive with their finances than they are currently. Don’t just rely on the idea that “I chose well”, “he is good”. That can change anytime. And the stacks are always set up against mothers.
There isn’t anything more romantic than 2 financially independent individuals choosing to be together, not because of financial gain but because they choose to have a life together. ❤
Also what is missed what if he gets sick or dies???
I love the idea that I’m here because I want to be not because I can’t leave
Guys… its not gendered advice.
As a woman, I don’t see the point in marriage anymore. What’s the point in making oneself financially vulnerable like this?
exactly. especially with the current political climate, very risky time to legally attach yourself to a man
I went through a godawful breakup, from a boyfriend, not even a husband, and all I can say is…Preach
If i was in love with someone i would want to know that they will be ok even if the relationship doesn’t work out
They always start with being “the right men”. Perfect husband until they cheat and leave for affair partner lmao.
I saw someone post the other day that she asked their husband if she could take $10k and put it into an account for herself should anything ever happen and she needs to leave him. He said something like sure no problem, and then he went about his day. And then she said, and that’s why she’ll never leave him. He understands why she would want the protection and is not threatened by it.
Big fan of this advice (did it with my wife before we got married many years ago), but just to quibble on the phrase “upper hand”. Having safety to remove oneself from a situation is great, having parity in a relationship is important; that phrase connotes aggressive tactics and power over another. Nobody likes feeling that.
Agreed. I believe all partners should have equal access and understanding of their financial situation, and that parity should be the goal. It was hard to hear that she wants the “upper hand” though–if my husband said tat about our relationship, it would make me uncomfortable. For their situation, I honestly hope her husband has a separate emergency fund as well.
In relationships, in public events, and in life, always have an exit plan. Excellent advice.
This applies both directions. Men make sure you can escape your abusive girlfriend if you need to. Though upper hand is bad phrasing. Equal partners
Saving this to show my teen daughter
This. Absolutely this. Even marriage to a totally smart & loving guy can end in divorce if you both realize you’re headed in two different directions. Don’t let yourself get absorbed into the blob and cede your agency.
I love this. Divorce isn’t always I hate them, they are the worst person ever. Sometimes its we have grown and no longer want the same things. And honestly I think alot of marriages/divorces get to the hate and vitriol stage because neither party could leave when it was probably best because they are so financially tided.
I am no fifty fifty warrior baby!!! 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉
This!!! 🙌 💯%
What you said. 100%. Married for 41 years to a good man and I still keep “leaving money”. He’s fine with that, by the way, and has his own money.